The first step back into the blogging world is exciting, scary, unnerving and exactly what I need at this precise moment in time. I have missed it a lot lately but most of all I have missed the friendships and camaraderie I once had with fellow bloggers.
So what have I been up to since I last wrote anything? I hardly even know where to begin but let's just say so much has changed and other things have stayed exactly the same.
I left my husband in January this year which won't surprise anyone who has ever read any of my blogs, yet to my amazement it shocked the pants off everyone in my real life, including my husband. There have been some very dark moments since that fateful day when I told my husband I no longer wanted to be married to him. The only moment harder than that was telling our daughters. I have never felt like a bigger heel in all my life but I truly believed the time had arrived to stop living a lie.
Where once I lived on a two and a half acre block of land, in a large house in the peace and quiet of the country, I now live in a tiny little house in the suburbs where you could stick your hand over your neighbours fence and turn their chops on the BBQ for them. Yes we are THAT close. I left behind a family and two dogs and now live by myself with an aviary / atrium full of finches and quails and a chicken which I inherited with the house.
The chicken has quite literally been a lifesaver for me and has stopped me from going out of my mind. Who knew you could love a chicken so much. I called her Elizabeth and she is my best little mate.
My daughters are doing really well and have made me so proud with how well they have handled everything. They told me that although they are sad about their dad and I splitting up, they would rather us be happy apart than unhappy together. Their mature attitude just reinforces in my mind that I did the right thing in waiting as long as I did.
They are now entering the two most important years of their school life and my husband and I decided it would be better to leave them where they are to minimise the disruption to their life. So they have a room at my house and their rooms at their dad's house and they come and go between us as they please. Craig and I are getting on better than we ever have and there is no tension or awkwardness when we are all at family functions together.
Of course there is lots more to tell but all in good time.
This has been a time of learning and evolving, suffering and celebrating and every day presents new challenges.
I deliberately waited until I felt a calmness and serenity before blogging again because I didn't want this to be a sad blog. I hope that it might even help someone who may be facing the same struggles and inner turmoil I was feeling for such a long time. The inner fight with my conscience and what I knew was the right thing literally left me bruised and battered inside and it was a very trying time.
I would like to end this first post with something I saw on a greeting card recently. It made me laugh and I have it permanently on my fridge as a reminder to try and find something to smile about every day.
I don't do exercise.....if God had wanted me to bend over
he would have put diamonds on the floor.....
20 comments:
Wow, yes a lot has changed for you!
I think Joan Rivers originally said that quote but I may be wrong!
Welcome back to the blogging world, just as I was thinking of giving it up myself! :D I missed you!
I have missed you so much! I kept your old blog in my Google Reader in the event you might pop in there to say 'hello' one day. I was so happy to see your comment today.
You've had a lot going on. I think you're very brave to do what needed to be done for your happiness. It's unfortunate that the right thing is so seldom the easy thing.
Welcome back, lovely.
Oh! And I love the quote. There's another that has always given me a giggle because of the truthfulness in it and because of who said it:
"Divorcing a man just because I no longer loved him would be as foolish as marrying him just because I do." Elizabeth Taylor
Oh no Joey, please say you don't mean it. I just can't imagine you not having a voice in the blogging world.
Thankyou so much for being for my first commenter. It's great to see you.
What a wonderful surprise for me to wake up to! I'm so glad you're back! I've missed you very much and would think of you often, sending good wishes your way. Yes....the change in your life is no surprise to me. I could tell it was coming just by your writings and yet you never mentioned it. Life is too short to be unhappy. I'm glad you made your break for happiness earlier than I did. LOL So welcome back, Gypsy girl, you have a LOT of friends here in Blogland. p.s. I had a pet rooster as a kid. I used to put him on my swing and let him enjoy the ride. Big hugs!!! I see you've done your blog in "our" soothing Pisces color! Good job.
Hi Heather, You're so sweet for hanging in there for me to come back. Bless your lovely heart.
It was a very difficult decision, probably the hardest I will ever have to make but I haven't regretted it for a moment. It took so long for me to get to that place where there is no going back and that was when I knew for sure I couldn't keep up the pretence any longer.
I was very sad about Miss Taylors passing. That woman had chutzpah in spades and more spirit than anyone has a right to.
It's so good to be back amongst old friends.
I seem to be answering comments while others are coming in. It's great to see you too Val.
I struggled for so long about the decision to leave because it isn't like me to be selfish and it doesn't sit comfortably with me at all. On the other hand we are all responsible for our own happiness and if I had stayed any longer everyone would have suffered. Now our daughters have two parents who love them and support them and are getting on well together and presenting a united front.
It was rough for a while there but we are all adjusting in our own ways and we're still very much a family.
My chicken has given me hours of pleasure and makes me chuckle every day. She knows all my deepest, darkest secrets and is a very good listener...lol. Not much a conversationalist since I don't know "chicken"but we're a team and she's great.
Welcome home.
You're baaaaaackkk...and more beautiful than ever.
I like that you added "dancer" to your moniker. I think it fits you in your new life.
I had a pet chicken when I was a kid. They can be VERY affectionate...I used to lie in the grass and she would come and sit right on top of me.
Yay! You're here! And look how lovely you are and how sweet Elizabeth is looking :)
And I don't think it's an accident that you are now surrounded by winged creatures - they will help you to soar.
Gypsy!!! I've missed you! It seems as though a lot HAS changed, but hopefully it's all for the better. It sounds like it is. I'm not sure how long it's been, but a lot has changed for me as well over the past year. I don't blog as often as I used to, but I'm glad you came back around for a visit. I look forward to hearing what you've been up to.
YOU'RE BACK. You're back. It's a great day, indeed. Birds help me to heal too. I don't know what it is about them but they are such a comfort. Elizabeth is such a little darling. I would love to have a chook. They are such funny creatures.
You've been through a lot - through the wringer, as they say - but I know how strong you are and I know you will be OK.
I am so glad to see you again. It has made me very, very happy XXX
You have a chicken for a confidante...? Somehow that is exactly as the universe should be.
You may have been gone from the blogs, but as you can see, not from our hearts.
Welcome back.
Bear.
It is indeed good to have you back. Obviously a great deal of change in your life. I look forward to catching up!
Maria: Two little words that really pack a punch. It feels like I've never been away.
Timoteo: Aw thanks Tim. Elizabeth is a real character and "talks" to me all day long. I didn't know how much fun a chicken could be. It beats talking to myself anyway.
Talon: Thanks so much Talon. Of course all of this is old news for you but I'm so glad to see you here. You've been the most amazing friend to me.
Native Minnow: Well I will look forward to seeing what you've been up to as well. I gathered you are no longer living in Vegas which was a surprise. I might have to read back for the past 14 months and see what I missed. Lovely to see you Minnow.
Selma: It was your enthusiasm that made the decision for me. What a lovely welcome Sel.
I am doing very well considering and I love having so many feathered friends. I sit for ages sometimes watching my finches and quails going about their business as I can see them from 3 different rooms. We are always learning new things about ourselves - who knew I would love these creatures so much. I've always been a dog person.
Bear: Thankyou Bear...that's a sweet thing to say. Yes only I would have deep and meaningful conversations with a chook...lol.
It's lovely to see you out and about in the blog world too.
Time: Thanks Time. There has been a lot of change but some things are still the same. All will be revealed in the coming weeks. I can't believe you are still blogging after all these years - you're almost an institution and I mean that in the nicest possible way :-)
I woke up this quiet Sunday morning and of course headed straight to my blog to see what was new. Imagine how my heart leapt for joy when I saw "Gypsy Dancer" in the comments on my last post. I just knew inside that at had to be my very favorite Gypsy! I instantly clicked on the link to make sure, and YES, you are back!! I have missed you and checked for your presence in the blog world every now and then. I have wondered how life was going for you. The friendships we forge here never really end.
I am smiling too, at the positive change in your life. Me of all people, understands the turmoil of that decision and how heart-wrenching it is, even moreso where your two lovely children are concerned. I am not at all surprised that they understand and are supportive. My kids knew too, when the time came, and they did much better with things peaceful in both homes than the underlying tensiion and unhappiness of one home.
Yes, stepping out on your own is a huge step after 50, but I survived it and I know without a doubt that you'll do fine too. Downsizing is also tough, but has its benefits like less space to clean! :-)
You aren't the first person I've known who made friends with a chicken, and your girl is a beauty. God often uses gentle animal spirits to help heal ours. I am happy you have her!
Welcome home, Gypsy Dearest, it is so good to have you back among us! ((HUGS))
Josie: How lovely to see you Josie and I enjoyed reading your blog as much as I always have. I have been feeling quite overwhelmed by the incredible welcome back I have had from everyone. It really has been a soothing balm for my sometimes wounded soul.
I will be fine because to be otherwise is just not an option. I didn't give up everything that has been my life for the past 19 years to fail....lol.
I really do feel like I've come home and it feels good. Thanks so much for stopping by Josie and I hope we can both catch up on what has been happening in each others lives in due course.
Hey beautiful!
I have thought about you so often and had very strong inkling that perhaps your path was the same as mine.
I also had a feeling that eventually you would return to this blog land of ours.
Let freedom ring! Let our wings unfurl!
xxx
Awareness: It's so good to be amongst people who get me again. Thanks for helping to make my transition back into the blogging world such a warm, effortless step in the right direction.
Good luck to you. It's nearly 35 years since I walked down a similar path to that you're on, but I still remember how hard it was. Your positive attitude will get you through.
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