The first step back into the blogging world is exciting, scary, unnerving and exactly what I need at this precise moment in time. I have missed it a lot lately but most of all I have missed the friendships and camaraderie I once had with fellow bloggers.
So what have I been up to since I last wrote anything? I hardly even know where to begin but let's just say so much has changed and other things have stayed exactly the same.
I left my husband in January this year which won't surprise anyone who has ever read any of my blogs, yet to my amazement it shocked the pants off everyone in my real life, including my husband. There have been some very dark moments since that fateful day when I told my husband I no longer wanted to be married to him. The only moment harder than that was telling our daughters. I have never felt like a bigger heel in all my life but I truly believed the time had arrived to stop living a lie.
Where once I lived on a two and a half acre block of land, in a large house in the peace and quiet of the country, I now live in a tiny little house in the suburbs where you could stick your hand over your neighbours fence and turn their chops on the BBQ for them. Yes we are THAT close. I left behind a family and two dogs and now live by myself with an aviary / atrium full of finches and quails and a chicken which I inherited with the house.
The chicken has quite literally been a lifesaver for me and has stopped me from going out of my mind. Who knew you could love a chicken so much. I called her Elizabeth and she is my best little mate.
My daughters are doing really well and have made me so proud with how well they have handled everything. They told me that although they are sad about their dad and I splitting up, they would rather us be happy apart than unhappy together. Their mature attitude just reinforces in my mind that I did the right thing in waiting as long as I did.
They are now entering the two most important years of their school life and my husband and I decided it would be better to leave them where they are to minimise the disruption to their life. So they have a room at my house and their rooms at their dad's house and they come and go between us as they please. Craig and I are getting on better than we ever have and there is no tension or awkwardness when we are all at family functions together.
Of course there is lots more to tell but all in good time.
This has been a time of learning and evolving, suffering and celebrating and every day presents new challenges.
I deliberately waited until I felt a calmness and serenity before blogging again because I didn't want this to be a sad blog. I hope that it might even help someone who may be facing the same struggles and inner turmoil I was feeling for such a long time. The inner fight with my conscience and what I knew was the right thing literally left me bruised and battered inside and it was a very trying time.
I would like to end this first post with something I saw on a greeting card recently. It made me laugh and I have it permanently on my fridge as a reminder to try and find something to smile about every day.
I don't do exercise.....if God had wanted me to bend over
he would have put diamonds on the floor.....
